i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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