no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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