my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize