giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
