That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
