Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize