wakey wakey hands off snakey
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize