Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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