yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
