the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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