You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
