Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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