I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize