you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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