home. puking in laundry basket.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
