peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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