I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
