he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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