Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
