White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
