Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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