just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
