I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
