Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
