I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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