I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Panties = found
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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