If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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