At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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