Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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