I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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