Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
