are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize