I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
