We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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