He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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