He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
