Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
