His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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