I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
