Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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