Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
