3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He did a backflip because drugs
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