I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
