I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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