I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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