Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
