So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
