dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need water and some morals
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
