so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
this will be a night to untag.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I'm really busy with my period
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