Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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