hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
