took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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