i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
