my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
