I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
