You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
